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Waiting in the Waiting Room
By matt | September 8, 2008
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Waiting Room Demographics
I spent a good part of Sunday in a waiting room. My friend continues to struggle with his sickness, now accompanied by complications. He is in the ICU. He is about as sick as a person my age can get…
In the waiting room, it was a group of 30-somethings standing vigil, lending support to his wife. Both sides of their family live in other cities, so an informal group gathered in support while family organized flights and made the trip.
It was strange to look around the room, only seeing people my age. In the past, there has always been someone older who helps, guides people, keeps things together.
But on Sunday, it was just us. I’m only in my 30’s, but I’ve never felt older…felt more aged…even weary.
Die Old
Another friend of mine lost his childhood pal to an unexpected medical problem. His pal was engaged to be married. He told me how shocked everybody was that his friend passed. Not only was
there no warning, but he was young.
Today, it’s so strange for people to be seriously ill or to die while still in their 30’s or 40’s. Maybe a hundred years ago it would be less surprising, but not in 2008. Right?
Grew Up Fast
Right now, there are many books and magazine articles that suggest marketing and computer technology are contributing to the infantilization of modern people, especially men.
Perhaps marketing and technological toys are contributing factors. However, it is also possible that the key is the fact that death seems so distant until after you are 50, 60 or older.
If we don’t feel threatened by death, feel our mortality or experience its presence until much later in life, it seems that we would be less likely to “grow up” as those articles suggest we must. Without the pressure of death, does infantilization emerge as a side-effect of longer lives and reduced suffering?
…and, when talking about children soldiers, young survivors of disaster, and other similar unfortunates, don’t we say that they “grew up before their time” or something whatever? We indicate that the presence of suffering and death made the children into adults, right?
If nothing else, after this weekend: being this close to the real and visible struggle between death and a man like me has been important. Yeah, it causes some anxiety and fear. It also is sobering and clarifying. (And sad, too. I’m leaving out the parts where people are sad because I imagine you already understand this part…)
Topics: none of the above | No Comments »
Jesus is a Friend of Mine
By matt | September 7, 2008
Once I tried to run
I tried to run and hide
But Jesus came and found me
and touched me down inside
He is like a Mountie
He always gets his man
He’ll zap you any way he can.
ZAP!
Topics: bad ideas | No Comments »
Kottke Sunday
By matt | September 7, 2008
Around five this morning, I could no longer sleep. I got up and went outside.
A touch of fall is in the air, this morning. The air is chill. The first leaves were starting to fall off the trees. People were wearing hooded sweatshirts.
And now, at this moment, the coffee is delicious.
The day is just starting, full of potential yet somehow a little sad.
Jack Gets Up from Leo Kottke’s My Father’s Face is playing in the house.
From it:
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
And you crawl out of bed and you crawl out of bed
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
And you look at the moon where the window is
And the stars shine, and the stars shine, and the stars shine
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
… … …
Santa Claus modified snow peas
On the sun roofs, on the sun roofs, on the sun roofs
So we’re all asleep in the same dream
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bedIf you look in the mirror it’s your father’s face
And the thin grin, and the thin grin, and the thin grin
It’s Santa Claus pulling up snow peas
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bedAnd there’s tears in the bank and the credit card
In the back yard, in the back yard, in the back yard
If you look in the mirror it’s your father’s face
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bedAnd once in a while when the wind blows
And the heart winds, and the heart winds, and the heart winds
There’s tears in the bank and a credit card
Everyday in the morning when you get up and you crawl out of bed
Topics: none of the above | No Comments »
Helping or Not Helping
By matt | September 6, 2008
Lately, I find myself in the position of being the helper. The crisis manager. The fixer.
I believe that I am pretty good at this. Unfortunately, I think I suck at the non-crisis stuff.
The Waiting Room
I went down to UHHS last night to help my friends, one of whom has cancer. He had been on chemotherapy the last few weeks and the effects of the drugs (poisons, really) caught up with him. He was having progressive difficulty breathing and was moved to the ICU.
I’ve been in this situation six times in the last 15 years. I’ve got most of it figured out, I think: what to do in an ICU patient’s room; what to say to patients or relatives; what to ask nurses or doctors; when to stay and when to leave. I can be reassuring, take action when needed, see opportunities to help things go more smoothly.
The System is Down
When all the servers for my department are down, I’m your guy. I keep my cool, help people focus on the right results, ask the questions that help people narrow down root causes and, ultimately get things running again. Before the crisis, I worked with my team to help understand how we can prepare for the crisis and what we need to do if a crisis happens.
I’ve been in this situation more times than I remember since I started my professional career. It’s not that often, thankfully. Unfortunately, the interdependencies between systems are so complex that, even in a company where simplicity is encouraged, you just can’t anticipate every possible thing that can go wrong…and eventually something does.
My laundry
…and yet, while I can help keep gigantic computer systems running or lend my support to family and friends when it’s needed…
Why can’t I get my laundry done? Why haven’t I seriously cleaned my house since April? Where does my time go, if not to these things?
I don’t always live in a crisis. This is good.
I manage my relationships, too. I’m not perfect, but when people are involved I’m usually pretty good.
…but taking care of myself, of my own place? I suck.
I don’t think I have some kind of self-destructive wish as I do what is needed when it is needed. But it seems that I treat things like laundry as a crisis. I have the capability to deal with the laundry…and when it becomes a crisis (What? I only have orange underwear left?!?) then I act. Not before.
I hate how hard it is to change a habit.
This is a habit.
Topics: psychology | No Comments »
I’m Blogging About Twitter
By matt | September 4, 2008
Typing that subject line both amuses and disturbs me at the same time…
When the iPhone apps started to be released, I saw that there were some Twitter apps released for free. I didn’t use Twitter, but I knew about it. The joke in “my circle” was that twitter was great to tell people when you were scratching…but good for little else.
I signed up, out of curiosity, and have been twittering or tweeting or twhatevering now for a few days. It’s fun, like a chat room is fun, but it’s also of limited value.
I have questions
* How often is too often to twitter?
* Who should I follow? Only people I know face-to-face or anybody at all?
* When should I block? Is there really any point to blocking people?
* If I invoke Godwin’s Law in a twitter conversation, do I get extra points?
* Why does twitter sometimes create a tinyurl and sometimes include the entire URL?
* Honestly, if I started following 100 people, would there be so many responses (”@twitterfolk”) to conversations I don’t follow that my twitter-stream (or twhatever it’s called) would be all junk…and a very fast stream of junk, at that?
* Whatever happened to IRC?
…OK, enough! I have to twitter that I’m blogging about twitter
Topics: technology | 2 Comments »
I laughed.
By matt | September 3, 2008
Topics: humor | No Comments »
Weep.
By matt | September 2, 2008
Topics: bad ideas | 1 Comment »
Long Weekends & Ambitious Projects
By matt | September 2, 2008
All Play and No Work Make Matt a Loopy Boy
Long weekends always throw me for a loop. Here it is, Tuesday evening, and I’m just thinking about writing for my site.
Earlier today, somebody asked me what I did this weekend. I had trouble remembering what I did on Friday because it was three nights ago. Usually, writing a “Weekend Trivial” post that details my travels around town isn’t difficult. Long weekends, psychologically, mess me up.
Weekend Trivia, the short version
So here is my weekend trivia list with all of the alcohol edited out: Kredo Hardware, Peppermint Cafe, Barnes-and-Noble, Shaker Square Market, Dewey’s Coffee, Linens’n'Things, Penny’s, The Old Angle, Batman Returns, Oktoberfest, The Old Angle, McDonald’s, Stone Oven, Phoenix Coffee on Lee.
What I find disappointing, if not depressing, is that my weekend can be summarized by the way I spent money. There were a huge number of friends and family mixed up in all of that, so I had a decent weekend and spent “quality time” with people. However, each time things involved some kind of financial transaction. Grrr.
Mixing it up
Anyhow, I’m also going to be tweaking the design of the website. I like the site, but it’s time to mix things up again. If things seem a touch broken in the next week, that’s planned. Really! I’ll let you know when you should howl that I’ve permanently wronged the place.
I seem to be on a track to “mix things up”, too. The website: changing. The house: adding some new stuffs. The face: beard-free. Don’t read too much into this, as all the “change” seems pretty superficial. Website design, drapes and facial hair do not make the man…do they?
Topics: weekend trivia | 2 Comments »
Demitri Martin flip chart
By matt | September 1, 2008
Topics: humor | No Comments »
Triumph the Comic Insult Dog & Stupid Latin Tricks
By matt | August 28, 2008
Triumph the Comic Insult Dog
If I laughed and that means I’m puerile, then I’m puerile.
Stupid Latin Tricks
Now, as the only language I ever studied in school was Latin, let me impress you with what I learned as a puerile puer! (”Puer” in Latin means “boy”.)
In the table below, which brings this post up to the Mandatory Intellectual Content Quotient that the editors of Bakaitis.com demand for publication, you’ll see that Latin declines the noun, which isn’t true in English. So “puerorum” is in the genitive case and usually used in the same way “of the boys” is used in English. Reading Latin is fun-orum.
| declension | singular | plural |
| nominative | puer | pueri |
| genitive | pueri | puerorum |
| dative | puero | pueris |
| accusative | puerum | pueros |
| ablative | puero | pueris |
Where we get all scatological with the pronunciation…
I was always annoyed when I had to say puer. Unlike puerile, which is pronounced like the words “pure-eel” or “pure-aisle”, puer is pronounced “poo-air” if you use the Latin pronunciation. Poo air.
…also, for some reason, declining Latin words always sounded like I was chanting some kind of strange semi-sexual poem. (Is that puerile?)
Sing along at home (make up your own tune):
puer, puer-i, puer-o, puer-um, puer-o, puer-i, peur-orum, peur-um, puero-o
Phonetically: poo air, poo air-E, poo air-O, etc…
I hope I made Father Bede proud with this post. 20 years later and I still remember how to decline Latin nouns. I can conjugate verbs, too!
Topics: none of the above | 1 Comment »
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